All children will backtalk at some stage in their lives. Backtalk is a normal stage of development in children. They are still learning to deal with conflicting emotions inside of themselves and assert their independence. They want to be assertive yet not get into trouble but are unsure of how to do it. The easiest way seems to be talking back to their parents! For parents, the key to dealing with backtalk is to have patience, understanding, and self-restraint.
Managing Children who Backtalk
In dealing with backtalk, it is essential that parents model the behavior they wish to see in their child. Children always learn behaviors from someone. By establishing a relationship with children based on respect, parents can nip backtalk before it gets out of hand. Here are some steps to try to end the habit and have respectful relationships with your children.
Set clear rules: What is most important to you? No put-downs, muttering or condescending gazes? Be firm in your tolerance and announce the rules to everyone in the household. Post them in the kitchen for reference.
Decide not to take it: Always follow through with consequences of undesirable behaviors. Parents who refuse to tolerate rude behavior have children who are not rude. Of course, this works two ways – treat your child with kind and understanding behavior.
Explain it: Help your child express his emotions more acceptably. Discussing negative emotions and feelings with your child helps him to accept them, release them and understand why he feels them.
Establish a code: For times when you are in public or when friends are around, let your children know they are nearing the disrespectful zone with a prearranged signal. This could be a phrase or a gesture. Follow through with consequences for misbehavior.
Don’t get in the act: As tempting as it is at times to say something rude back to your child, don’t. By practicing patience and understanding you are setting an excellent example instead.
Teach Respect to Children
Never forget it takes two people to argue, your children cannot argue by themselves. Choosing your battles goes a long way in teaching respect to your children. State your case once and allow your child to state his and set the consequence or walk out of the room if need be. This shows children your word is “final” and will not be changed, though you value their opinions. The result is respectful children and adults.